Alice in notsowonderland
by Bella-Swan1313
Summary: This is Alice's story. We never really got to hear it, and I decided I woul elaborate. The summary is awful, but please give it a try! rated T, because I'm super careful!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I LOVE Alice, and I decided it would be interesting to explore her character by doing a story about her life, and her Jasper. So, here we are. The result of a midnight session with Evangaline (my laptop) let's all hope it's not too bad!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the fabulous Alice, or any of the other characters, no matter how much I want to.**

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Darkness. That is what my life consisted of mainly. I missed the sun. The only light I ever got was whatever spilled in from the hole they fed me through. This was hell. Sometimes I closed my eyes, and remembered what it used to be. When I would play in the yard with Cynthia. Little Cynthia. She was so full of life. We were not very different. Her hair was much longer, and she liked to wear it loose around her face, and her eyes were midnight blue to my brown, but the main thing was, we were both the happiest in the country. Out of all the people we knew, we were always the most energized. Always the most ready to take on a challenge. Then it happened. I saw it. I saw the brown haired man coming towards me with a smile on his face. That's when everything fell apart.

I told mother, and none of them believed me. Not a one. I tried to make them believe. I told them everything, I told them things that they knew were true, but they didn't believe were true. Maybe they didn't know they were true. They put me here.

I still remember Cynthia's little wails of sadness when they told her that her sister had died. DIED. I could kill them. I wanted to.

I wish I could. But, somehow that would seem, off. I was alone here. Always alone in this world of darkness with only me myself and I for company. I wasn't naturally a depressed person. I just found it hard not to be in this horrible place. I made the best of it though. I created games to play. Trying to think of the most outrageous situations, and place myself there, just to see what I would do.

I would speak cheerily to the men who came to give me the slop they called food, which I ate all of, because I needed the strength. Somehow, I doubted that even after all they'd put me through, they would poison my food. Though, looking back they probably did put a sedative or two in there. I brought myself to the present. I could feel a change in the air, and I felt it coming on. A vision was coming to me, now. I pinched myself.

I had decided a little while ago, that I should stop with all of this vision nonsense, or I really would go insane. My jaw locked. The most entirely horrible part of all of this, was that I was indeed not crazy in the slightest. Damn nitrous oxide. I screeched, and then realized that that probably wouldn't help matters much, so I stayed quiet, softly humming 'moonlight sonata' to myself, and dreaming of playing it on the piano with Cynthia again.

Someone came 'round to give me my daily meal, and I looked at whomever it was willing them to see that I was not what they thought I was. I saw two sharp hazel eyes that looked strangely sympathetic. I squeezed a tear out of my eye, just to see what would happen, and got a strangely sad looking purple one in return. The man spoke to me very softly with a voice as sweet as honey,

" I am so sorry, my dear Alice. I will save you."  
"Pardon?"

I was shocked beyond words, but the good manners my mother had taught me rang true in my voice even after all she'd done. He chuckled a small melancholy tune, and turned away. Those eyes were the strangest purple I had ever seen. Possibly the affect of placing blue colored contacts, onto red eyes…**(AN: I know they didn't have contacts back then, but they are kind of vital to the story.) **

A change was coming. I could feel it in the tips of my fingers, and the soles of me feet, though I tried very hard to shake the feeling, it stuck with me. I turned to the mushy food. Upon feeling it with my finger, I came to the conclusion, that it has a consistency very close to that of vomit.

I ate it anyway, and afterwards, I was just about ready to fill the dish with my own vomit. Several tears escaped down my cheeks. No matter what the strange man had said, there was no way out of this horrible place. I would die here. I lay down on the plush floor, and cried myself to a dreamless, restless sleep. When I woke, I could see light.

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It was spilling in from the door, that was for the first time they had finished testing me, wide open, with the strange man looking at me from the frame. He was very handsome. I immediately pictured him with young Cynthia, wishing she was here, for this man was perfect for her in every way. He had jet-black hair, and a tall though not over-exceedingly statuesque figure. His hair was combed very neatly, and a slight fringe of hair covered the top of his forehead.

He was wearing the usual uniform for those of this 'facility' (or dungeon should you prefer the more correct term) though it looked strangely wonderful on him. I concluded that he would look stunning in what ever he garbed himself in, whether it be a barrel, or this strange white uniform. I picked myself up from the ground, squinting my eyes against the light that I craved for, yet seemed much to bright to handle. I suppose that is what comes from being kept in a black room for 169 days. I'd been counting. He came towards me, and smiled.

"I am Trent." He said. Yuck. I hated the name Trent, but he seemed nice enough, so I let him carry on. He did. He carried on, to smack me on the head. I blacked out.

I woke up to blackness, with the acute sense that I had dreamt the whole thing. I had very vivid dreams that often seemed as though they had actually happened, leaving me with real bruises, and cuts. I shivered. I preferred not to relive those instances. But this was very real. I knew it. I felt it in my squashed bones.

"NO!"

suddenly shouted out from a little way away. I started, and jumped to my feet, ready to investigate, if necessary. I heard a few more shouts that sounded strangely familiar. Trent's voice. I realized, then stiffened. Trent.

Why had he knocked me unconscious? Why was he here? Why was _I _here, more importantly. I stretched out my limbs, and muscles, hearing a few cracks, when I rolled my neck, and stretched out my back. I heard more shouts, and I was aware of the problem again. Then a clattering of glass. Trent burst into the room, heaving his chest, looking around frantically. I looked at him, hopefully glaring daggers.

"Alice! I love you, dear sweet Alice. I will tell your Cynthia what happened to you. I promise, she will know. " I was so taken aback I forgot my manners.  
"You don't even know me!" I cried.  
"I know more than you do. I am a vampire Alice. You may not know this, but vampires can have extra powers. My extra power, is that just by looking into someone's eyes, I can know nearly everything about them. I know their essence, I suppose you would say. So, when I saw you, I realized you were not insane, and you were stunningly good, and stunningly beautiful. I love you Alice."

He came toward me, and kissed me furiously. I was immediately frozen. His skin was cold, very cold, and then the kissing! How utterly inappropriate! He barely knew me! He claimed all these things, but I had a strong feeling he was an escapee from the asylum. I tried to pull away, but he was clinging to me, and he was a thousand times stronger than I could ever hope to become. He pulled his face back a few inches, looked at me with RED eyes, which was not the strangest occurrence, and shook his head, yes, causing his hair to bounce slightly.

I gasped. He suddenly took on a quality I had never seen before. It was a slight mix of hunger, or even thirst and passion. A deep passion. Then, he reached his mouth down to my neck, and bit. Sharp pain ran through my neck to my entire body as I was engulfed in fire. It took up every part of me, from the very tips of my fingers, working it's way into every taste bud, every hair, every particle that made up who I was, was suddenly, and unbelievably on fire. It stayed like this. I was screaming in agony the entire time. I couldn't tell if hours had passed, days, weeks, months, years... It was all a blur to me. I was so wrapped up in this horrible fire, that I felt that death, or even the asylum would be welcome afterwards. I would gladly eat ten million puky dinners.

I wished I was eating a puky dinner right now. How I wish I was. I tried to stop the pain by thinking about other things, but the other things were either horrible as well, or not enough to get me to stop thinking about this horrible, awful pain in my throat. that was where it was coming down to. I could feel a little tingle in my fingers.

the pain was dulling, but in my throat was the sensation of strep throat, multiplied by hundreds of times. It almost felt like a craving. I focused on what I wanted. I nearly vomited, and cried all at the same time when I realized that what I wanted seemed to be inside of me. Something told me it would all be gone soon, but I couldn't get a good enough grip on myelf to retrieve it. It was my own blood.

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**AN: So when alice talks about wanting her own blood remember, that she still has a little blood left, because the change hasn't been completed yet! I hope you liked the first chapter. the other chappys will be longer, i promise, but I just wanted to get this out there! **


	2. the begining of the end

**AN: So, Here is the next chapter, because I got a grand total of one review!! And, I am sorry that it took so long to update I was just sooo out of ideas. Woo! If you guys review my story, then you can read the rest faster! Come on guys, I've gotten the alerts. I know there's more than one person reading it! Anyhoodle, just to see, if you do review, then put this in your review!! :-) It is turban smiley. He's amazing. **

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The fire was going away. Turning to a dull ache in my bones. I could still feel that taste on my tongue, the awfulness of the burning in my throat. An aftertaste like no other. I sighed. Ouch. Mistake doing that. Though, I had sighed, I supposed that the horrible feeling was going away. I continued to feel less and less like eating a puky dinner. In fact the thought of eating anything seemed slightly revolting.

I wondered what would happen if I were to open my eyes. Then I realized I probably should open them. I tried, and the opened gummily. Like they had been closed for a long time. Things were blurry for a while, and I thought I was in big trouble. Everything seemed fuzzy. I couldn't remember anything. I couldn't think of anything that made sense. Then, I saw the sun. For the first time in a year and a half, I saw the sun. It was gorgeous. It almost sparkled. I lifted my hand into the sun, and gasped. My _hand_ sparkled in the sunlight, like a million tiny rubies, and diamonds, glinting majestically.

I grinned widely, and wondered whether I really was awake. I stood up, slightly wobbily. I reached down and pinched my skin. It seemed so soft, and hard, and so much paler than it normally was, though I supposed that that could possibly be a result of being kept in a sunless room for a great length of time. I spun around in the splash of sun, and it seemed to go much faster than it should have, and it ended much to gracefully. I had never enjoyed my dance lessons, and I was never much of a graceful person. Now, I seemed to be as graceful as any ballerina I had seen on stage. I stepped fully into the patch of sun, and twirled around in it, laughing, as I watched my arms glitter. For some strange reason I was now wearing an airy white sundress…

Then it dawned on me that he must have changed me. I gasped at such a degrading thing. I was angry, very angry. I stepped out of the sun, and tried to find my clothes. The only thing I could find was a black dress, stockings and some shoes. I put them on. They were slightly bigger than I was used to, but it did feel nice to be wearing real clothes again rather than what they put me in at the 'facility'. I grimaced. I had to get out of the city, or I was done for. I would be returned to the facility, the worse for wear, because they could, and would trick me into telling them where I'd been. I hate lying. It's really ever so unnecessary. I started to look around for a door, wondering where on earth I could be. I exited the room I had been in, and walked into a very large building, that looked very much like a warehouse. I started walking down the rows of boxes. The only light was coming from the small square windows that lined the top of the building. I sighed when I realized that I was probably somewhere far away from the city. I gasped, and my hand flew to my chest. I blacked out, but then figures appeared.  
_"Emmett cut it out!"  
"Rosieeeeee, I need these shorts!"  
"No, you don't they are-_

Then it cut short, and started again, more clearly than it had been before:

"_Rosalie, could I please see those shorts, I need them for-"  
"Sure Emmett." _The girl was gorgeous, blonde, and had slight curves in all the right places. The man next to her seemed to be her significant other, as she reached across the table, and kissed him sweetly. As her palm landed in the small patch of sun on the table, it sparkled.

I gasped. This girl, Rosalie, was the same as me. Only, what was I? The man leaned forward, and placed his hand over hers. The same brilliant light sparkled from his hand as well. He reached his other arm over to the woman's hair, and I saw how muscled he was. Then a boy entered the room. He couldn't be more than seventeen, though he looked very fit as well. When he walked in, he rolled his eyes, and put his hand through his hair. He seemed slightly sad though. Even as he smiled, he just seemed melancholy.  
_"Edward, we both know you are deprived but do you __**have**__ to walk in on us?"  
_The man said  
"_Look, Emmett, if I had my way I'd be playing the piano right now. Carlisle and Esme need to talk to all of us, so we are having a family meeting. He's thinking about moving again, though he won't admit it. "  
_So, his name was Edward.

_"Fine Edward, we'll come. But if we have to move again, I __**will**__ have a breakdown, and that's a promise."  
"Yes, Rosalie, I realize you do not want to move. Could you please stop thinking about ways to stop Carlisle? Many of them are…" _He stopped and I could only imagine what this Rosalie must be thinking. The man, Emmett? Laughed loudly and draped his arm around Edward's shoulders. Edward looked slightly uncomfortable with the physical contact but said nothing. They all walked through a doorway, and then the vision changed. They were now in a rather large looking living room, and there was a very good-looking blonde man, and a sweet looking woman with caramel colored curls. They all sat down around the man, and the woman kissed his cheek and smiled before sitting down  
_"Now-" _Then, everything changed and they were sitting in the forest, and the man was sitting down, head in hands, as the rest watched him.  
_"I feel as though there is no other choice but to move. Rosalie, I am so sorry. I know how you hate to move, but I simply see no other way to stay inconspicuous. Esme and I have found a secluded house, everything will be alright in the end."  
"Carlisle… I, I will do what is right for my family. I realize the need to move… I suppose I simply wish we could stay inconspicuous without having to move every three years."_

_  
"You can design our bedroom Rosie. It's like Carlisle said. Everything will be alright."  
"My lovely children, I am so, so sorry." _The woman with the heart-shaped face seemed genuinely upset. They all comforted her. Edward said nothing about the subject. But, it seemed to me, as though he had opened the gate on his sadness a little. It was seeping out onto his features. The others were starting to walk ahead, and He stayed behind. He sat down on the leaf-strewn ground, and looked up at the sky. He looked back down, and then things shifted again.  
_"Who are you?"_ Then, they shifted again.  
_"Hello? How do you know my name? How do you know what we do?" _ Then I blacked out again. I woke up, and I was lying on the floor of the warehouse. It seemed to be sunset. I sighed, pondering the strange visions, that were so much clearer and more interesting than the ones I had had in the past (I had decided that these visions were never going to stop, so I might as well embrace them). I tried to make a vision appear, and to my great surprise, it did.  
_"Well, hello…" _It was a strikingly handsome man with blonde hair that fell in his eyes. He was smiling beautifully. At me. I was with him. We were in a café, the only ones besides the employees. I had an uneaten scone in front of me. I was smiling back at him.

_"I've been waiting for you."  
"Well… I'm sorry I kept you waiting."  
_I laughed. The vision ended. I was back in the warehouse, smiling widely. He was the one for me. I was in love with a fabrication of my mind, yet, it all seemed much to real to be a fabrication of the mind. I wasn't really that imaginative normally. Sure, I was very creative, but normally I got my ideas from an inspiration, a song I heard while out in the town, or a view that I saw from the top of a hill. I wanted so badly for it to be real. I felt so fuzzy around the edges. I couldn't remember much. The only thing I could really remember was the man. I couldn't recall his name, though I knew I'd remembered it before. I crinkled my forehead. I was struggling to remember things. I'd never had trouble with that before.  
"Ugh."  
I decided to try and get some sleep. That was my first mistake.

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I quickly realized there was no way I was going to be able to sleep for a very long time. Like, the rest of my existence. I tossed and turned all night, trying to get to sleep. It wasn't like I was tired, but I really felt I should be. It was incredibly boring trying to get to sleep, when I knew it simply wasn't possible. Mostly, I listened to the noises outside the warehouse. There were crickets somewhere, far away, and the sound of a small stream burbling in the distance. I sighed, and rolled over onto my back. This whole thing was starting to get on my nerves. Then another vision came.

_"Esme, do you really think we should be moving?"  
"Carlisle, of course, really, you are so compassionate. The poor people who might get hurt if we stay here, you know we can't stay. I love you very, very much."  
"I love you too Esme. Thank you for being the most wonderful creature I have ever known, in all of my existence." _He then leaned in and kissed her nose, her forehead, and lips, very sweetly. They then smiled at each other and walked out of the French doors behind them, into the sun. They glittered there too. This frustrated me. I wanted to know what was going on, that made our skin sparkle. Edward walked in to the room then, and the vision changed many times, as he went over possible pieces he could play on the piano. He ended up playing my favorite song. Moonlight Sonata. When he was finished, he got up, and followed them out the doors, into the sunlight. I wanted to know more about my one. The man I knew would be mine one day. He was so wonderful. I knew even before I knew his name, that he was the most wonderful person in the entire universe. I disengaged myself from the visions of possible routes these people could take to go somewhere, though I wasn't exactly sure where exactly. It was much too hazy. I focused on him. Only his face. His voice with a slight touch of southern music. I sighed contentedly. Just thinking of him made me feel giddy. Then I was engulfed into another vision.  
_"Alice."  
"Jasper?"  
"I love you."  
"Hmmm. I suppose I love you as well." _ I giggled in the vision, and pressed my forehead onto his chest. He laughed also. It was music to my ears. He leaned down then and pressed his lips to mine briefly, though, intensely. He gazed into my eyes. It was perfect. I was never much for public displays. He oh, his name was Jasper. It rolled in my mind like a musical note. Gorgeous and perfect. When I was snapped back into reality, I sighed, and whispered his name.

"Jasper." It fit him perfectly, I decided. I rolled onto my side, and looked out one of the small windows. It was starting to become brighter outside. I decided on one last vision of my love before I left the building. Again I focused on Jasper. It all seemed to rush into me at once. He was standing in by a river. He had scars on his chest. I was looking at them with only slight concern. But, he was sparkling. My he was sparkling. His skin seemed to be on fire with the tiny jewels that seemed permanently set into his skin, like they were simply meant to be there, and nothing could stop them from existing. I was sparkling also, though the affect was not as brilliant, but he didn't seem to mind.

He would still love me. Even if I was this way. Then the vision changed. Our scene was moved a small bit to the left of where we had been, and Edward had come out.  
_"It's time for a hunt you two."_ He seemed slightly uncomfortable, like he was interrupting something very private, as if we had been kissing, or some such thing. I laughed. It seemed to sound like small bells. I supposed I hadn't spoken at all since the fire stopped burning within me.  
_"Listen, Edward. We just went yesterday. I realize Jasper is new to being a vegetarian vampire, but I expect he will be fine until tomorrow, alright?"  
_Wait a moment. Vampire? Jasper chuckled, and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. He leaned down and whispered to me,  
_"Sweet Alice. It's alright. Never fret." _He pulled back, and looked at me lovingly. I smiled.  
_"Fine then Edward we'll go."  
_Then things started to become hazy with constant change, and I had to bring myself back to the present. By this time I was so numb with longing for my Jasper, that I had no other desire but to find him. I jumped up, quite a lot quicker than I was used to. Then something hit me. Not in the literal sense, no, but I remembered when I had said "Vampire." It was absolute nonsense. But then, my love must be fiction as well, and that I could not bear to think of. I decided that I would find out what was what, by leaving the building. I looked around for a few moments, and then found the exit. I stepped out into daybreak. The sky was beautiful, orange, pink, lavender, and the slightest tinge of turquoise. I gasped, and the fire within my throat reignited when I smelled something ravishing. I lunged for whatever it was, running much faster than I had believed possible. When I arrived, something kicked in. I was slightly crazed with the hunger I felt.

I could taste the man's scent on the air. He was alone. Lost. I could get him. What was I thinking? I only wanted this man's blood. I could hear it, running underneath his skin. It's slow pulse tantalizing my senses until I could bear it no longer. I stepped into one of the golden pools of sunlight between the trees. Closer to this man. I could feel his scent inside my throat, tearing it apart. I had to play this correctly. He looked at me, clearly awestruck.

"Hello." I said alluringly, and laughed, throwing my head back. He started to come towards me. Looking at me like a piece of meat. For a moment I was disgusted, but then I realized I must be looking at him in much the same fashion. I giggled this time, hoping he would come even closer. He did. All I had to do was step a short distance. I stepped towards him keeping my toes pointed daintily. He seemed to like it. I came to a rest with my feet in fourth position, my arms outstretched.  
"Darling," I said, "Won't you come and say hello?" He did.

He came alright. He walked; more like jogged to me, and wrapped his arms around my tiny frame. I laughed again, and started kissing up his neck, waiting to make the suspense even greater. He started kissing me, and that was were I drew the line. Only Jasper was aloud to do that. I scowled, and let myself bite down very hard on his neck. He gave a small cry of pain, and then I started to suck in his blood, and he was done. I was suddenly crazy. When I was finished him, I started running faster than I thought possible, looking for someone else. Anything else that could satisfy this hunger burning, radiating through my body. I couldn't think of anything else. I needed blood. All I could think of was the soft pulse of red blood running through veins. Beating it's way through the entire body. The sweet taste of it on my tongue. The way it glided against my throat, on it's way down, but it was not enough, I needed more.

Then a vision hit me. I was not hunting a person anymore, but an animal. An elk. It glided softly through the trees trying to get away, but I was faster. I came down upon it. Then I returned to this world. In a different forest. I thought I might try looking for an animal. I found one in a matter of minutes, and hunted it down with ease. The blood was… different than the human, to which nothing could compare, but I was already thinking of that man's family.

What if he had a little sister? A wife? Children? I had done that to him. I had taken a father away from his children. Perhaps he had a daughter, who looked very much like Cynthia. I shuddered, and collapsed onto the ground beneath a tree. I was sobbing uncontrollably, yet no tears came out. I sat up, silenced myself, and wondered how I could possibly not be crying. I had snuffed out a man's life like a candle, and gone in search of more people to kill. I was awful. A monster. I should be punished. Possibly even killed I didn't deserve Jasper. He was so much better off without me…

August

September

October

November

December

January

February

March

April

The next nine months passed in a blur. I mostly hid out in the woods, feeding when I thought it was necessary. I lived off of the visions. I mostly searched for ones the included Jasper, but I would occasionally learn more about the rest of the family. I realized soon after I found out I was a vampire, that I was their family, and they were mine. There was another member who I couldn't quite see yet. I wasn't sure what they were to do in our family, I wasn't sure what their name was, their gender, I didn't even know if their hair was brown or blonde. All I knew was that there was someone else who would impact us. I decided not to let it influence me too much. I learned much about the entire group.

Carlisle was essentially the leader. He was a very caring, compassionate man, and somehow found a way around our vampire persona to become a doctor. His wife, or mate Esme was so sweet it was hard to believe she didn't run a candy factory. Then there was Edward. He was an amazing piano player, but didn't do much else. He seemed sad. A bit, detached. Then Rosalie. She was drop dead gorgeous, and like all beauties, slightly full of herself, though there was an ancient sadness there, that I saw in visions when she was by herself. When she didn't let anyone see. I didn't even think her love knew what sadness she was hiding inside herself. Not because he was oblivious, but because she hid it well. Behind her tenaciousness, and self-confidence, I saw a lost little girl, just wanting to be loved. Then Emmett. Rosalie's mate. He was certainly rambunctious, and only Rosalie could really keep up with him.

They really were a good pair. He truly loved her, and she truly loved him. The whole family was very loving. I knew I wanted Jasper and I to be a part of it, and we would be. If I ever found him. This very moment I was in a café on a rainy day. I had an uneaten scone in front of me, and a cinnamon spice latte I'd taken a few sips of when the waitress was eyeing me like she wanted nothing more than to kick me out. I sighed when I thought of having to spit it up later. I'd bought the cinnamon spice, because it was a nice name, and I was wearing a white jacket, and brown dress, so I figured it would match my outfit. It didn't really.

It just looked like a normal coffee, and tasted even worse. I sighed again, and looked out the window onto the street next to me.

Then, I saw him pass by the window. I immediately straightened up. I was in a café. Of course! I was so idiotic! The only thing I'd thought of when looking back at the vision was him, I'd never given a second thought to the location. But here he entered, walking in ravishingly, even handsomer than I'd seen. My breath caught in my throat slightly, but I commanded myself to take a deep breath, and process this, so I did. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. He walked over. His eyes were lavender colored. The affect from blue over red. He wasn't like us yet. That was okay. I would convert him. He sat down at my table, and a look of comprehension dawned on the waitress' face. She apparently thought I'd been waiting for him. She had no idea how long.

"I've been waiting for you." I said simply. He thought it over silently for a moment, then replied the way I knew he would.  
"I'm sorry I kept you waiting." He tipped his hat like a good southern gentleman. I sighed. And stood up. I walked around the table to him, and hugged him with every muscle in my tiny body. He seemed shocked at first, but then, hugged me back, albeit slightly awkwardly. Right. He wasn't into public displays any more than I was. Of course, I made an exception this time. I had been waiting for him for a rather long time. He led me out of he café. It seemed to me from the glimpses of visions, that he was having trouble controlling himself. He wanted to…. I suppose, drink? The waitress. I shuddered tinyly, but did not escape him. I already knew he was observant.

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AN: OKAY, I'm sorry this didn't come up earlier, I thought I'd posted it quite a while ago! sorry!! Oh, and sorry about pulling a new moon on the months! I felt lazy...


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